Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Totally Tuesday

On a little bit of a serious note this morning I thought I'd talk a little bit about my emotions. I know, heavy. As most of you know I got dumped earlier this spring and I took it really hard. In some ways I think that I have completely worked through the heartbreak and in other ways I think that I'm possibly worse than I was back in the spring. And that sucks. I wish so badly that I could wake up and be past this entire phase of my life. I've worked diligently to keep my mind occupied while I worked through this and for the most part I don't miss my ex unless I'm awake at night thinking about him. Is he okay? What's he doing? Is he dating?

Well he and I have kind of opened a line of communication. We've started texting and talked on the phone a couple of times. The other night he called to apologize for treating me the way he did for the past year. He basically used me for emotional support without reciprocating. That phone call was a real "a-ha" moment for me. I realized that I didn't need to know what his life was like now. And his apology was pointless (I even told him, "Do you think these past four months while I was crying over you I thought 'if only he'd call and apologize everything would be better?'"). Will he and I ever be able to be friends? Probably not. But first and foremost he was my best friend and second to that he was my boyfriend. So I want to pretend that we could be friends.

That being said, I've been listening to this song A LOT. I feel like it perfectly sums up our relationship (however I feel that way about a lot of break up songs). What do you do to get over somebody? Can you stay friends?

Kind of a somber totally Tuesday but I am not anything if not honest with my feelings.

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